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IELTS Academic 17 (Test 2)

Writing

TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Police Budget 2017–2018 (in £m)

Sources	2017	2018
National Government	175.5m	177.8m
Local Taxes	91.2m	102.3m
Other sources (eg grants)	38m	38.5m
Total	304.7m	318.6m

How the money was spent

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 7.5 score.

0The table illustrates the data on the police budget in which the money came from and the two pie charts describe the distribution of the amount of money in the two of year 2017 and 2018 in an area of Britain. Overall, there was an upward trend in all three different sources while the money spent on salaries was always the majority of contribution.

Looking into more details, the highest amount of money on the police budget belonged to 'National Government', 175.5 million pounds in 2017 and it kept rising to 177.8 million pounds. Thus was followed by 'Local Taxes', at 91.2 million pounds in 2017, after one year, it increase significantly to 102.3 million pounds.

In term of the how the money was spent, the majority of police budget goes to salaries which was for officers and staff, dropping slightly from 75% in 2017 to 69% in 2018. Meanwhile, the proportion of 'Buildings and transport' remained constantly, at 17% each year. An opposite pattern can be seen in the category of technology, its figure rose sharply from 8% in 2017 to 14% in 2018, which was always the lowest rate during the given period.

Here is the examiner's comment:

This is a strong response. The candidate provides a clear overview at the end of the first paragraph which highlights the consistently increasing trend from the tableand identifies the largest category from the pie charts. Full details are given for thefirst two sources of the budget but, to achieve a higher rating, key features in thetable could be more fully extended.

Information is presented in the order of the table first and then the charts, in a logical manner. The test taker demonstrates a good range of cohesive devices [while | which was] and uses three paragraphs appropriately to organise and sequence the required data.

There is a wide range of vocabulary [figure rose sharply | during the given period] with accurate spelling, although there are occasional errors in word choice. Therange of grammatical structures is wide, including modal [can] and continuous forms [kept rising] - although there are occasional errors e.g. using present tenses [goes on] to describe data from 2017 and 2018.

To improve this response, the key features presented from the table could be more fully extended. The candidate could also reduce the few errors in sentencestructure.

TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.

Mobile phones, nowadays, contains essential features with entertainment also. There has been a large growth seen in usage hours of smartphones among youngsters. There are several reasons behind this situation and I find this development more beneficial than negative. Both the reasons and my view is elaborated further.

The first reason for overusage of smart devices by youngsters is the social benefit they provide. The smart phone connected with internet opens up the large possibilities, from creating new friends to communicating with them over social media. For instance, a child in my neighbourhood chats for hours with his school friends over Facebook (a social media) and also spend time over online video sharing phone application. Moreover, the mobile gaming, specially multiplayer games, is another major reason for the situation. Children plays different kind of games over mobile for the entertainment purpose and they involve themselves in games in such a manner, that they forget about the timing and other work to do.

However, I believe that smartphones have also increased the knowledge of pupils. It has developed some important social skills, such as communication skill, team work and many more, by allowing them to work and play in groups, without the restriction of distance. In addition, children can learn through internet by watchin online videos and reading articles, which ultimately helps them in their studies as well as language skills. For example, whenever my niece require to know about something, he searches it over the internet and learns from it. Moreover, multiplayer online gaming improves their multitasking ability and it also gives them a competitive environment.

Overall, I agree that overusage of smartphones on regular basis is harmful for them, but if given proper guidance, mobile phones can help them in learning some life-long skills.

Here is the examiner's comment:

This response addresses both parts of the question. A range of ideas is expressed and the candidate gives their position in the opening paragraph and then provides evidence and relevant examples.

The range of vocabulary is good with examples of higher-level items [social skills | restriction of distance | ultimately] and there are few errors [overusage / overuse | niece ... he / niece ... she | watchin / watching | require to know / needs to know]. Similarly, the range of grammatical structures is reasonable, but the level of error means the Band Score cannot be higher than 6.5.

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