Father: We need to talk.
Patrick: Can this wait? It’s after two. I’m tired.
Mother: You’re hardly ever home, Patrick. We can’t put this off any longer.
Patrick: Fine. What?
Father: We want to talk to you about your life.
Patrick: Here it comes . . .
Father: You need to be more responsible. You stay out too late. You’re not taking your graduation very seriously.
Patrick: Give me a break! I do have a job, you know.
Father: Actually, you’ve had three different jobs in the last six weeks. You seem to brush them off like they’re games. And you aren’t putting away any of your money. You burn through it and live paycheck-to-paycheck.
Patrick: Well, it’s no skin off your nose. It’s my money, right?
Mother: Yes, but you don’t seem to be thinking at all about your future. We can’t support you forever, you know. You’ve got to start to make your own way in the world soon.
Father: Patrick, you’re smart. You have to get a real job. If you’d like, I can help you get the ball rolling. I’d like to get you a job working at my company. It will be a way to get your feet wet in business until you find something on your own.
Patrick: It’s like talking to a wall with you two! How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to work in business! I’m going to be a writer.
Father: Patrick, that’s an admirable goal, but you can’t go about it with your head in the clouds. You need to start somewhere concrete, but even before that you need to earn a living somehow.
Patrick: I’ve told you a thousand times, I don’t want to sell out and work for a corporation!
Mother: Who put this idea in your head anyway? Was it Marcie?
Patrick: I knew it. That’s what this is all about. Just because you don’t get along with Marcie!
Father: Patrick, it’s true that we don’t see eye to eye with you on girlfriends. But this is not about Marcie. This is about you taking charge of your life.
Mother: Wake up and smell the coffee, Patrick . . . Marcie hasn’t set very high goals for herself in life, and if you . . .
Father: Honey, we agreed we’d focus on the job situation first. Let’s just . . .
Patrick: Oh, I can’t believe this!
Father: Your mother just wants the best for you. But your relationship with Marcie is neither here nor there. The point is you are twenty-three and haven’t had a decent job since you graduated.
Patrick: Must you constantly be on my case about this? Look, the way I see it, it’s my life now, and I’m the only one who should have to worry about it. You two have to cut the cord.
Father: Well, we’re glad you think so son, because your mother and I have decided it’s about time you moved out.
Patrick: What?!
Father: Time to face the music. It’s sink or swim, Patrick. Welcome to the real world.
Patrick: You’re just cutting me off ?
Mother: Oh, of course not, son. Your father is just being dramatic. But it really is time for you to face the real world. We’re doing this because we love you. We’ll be there to help if you need it.
Patrick: Oh. Okay . . . So, does that mean I can drop my laundry off here for you, Mom?