Al: Hi, sweetie! How are you? Don’t you normally work on Fridays?

Beth: Yeah, but I had to talk to you. It couldn’t wait.

Al: Oh, sure . . . Um, what’s up?

Beth: Well, I need to get something off my chest.

Al: That’s good, because there’s been something on my mind, too.

Beth: Let me go first; this is important.

Al: Okay.

Beth: I’m sorry to spring this on you, but I think we should break up.

Al: Wow . . . That’s big news. Well, how . . . I mean . . . Well, why do you want to dump me?

Beth: I suppose it would be fair of me to give you a reason.

Al: Well, yeah! This comes out of nowhere. A reason would be nice.

Beth: I’m breaking up with you because you’ve become a real couch potato. All you do is watch TV. And the only thing you like to watch on TV is cartoons.

Al: But I thought you were crazy about cartoons! Remember that time we saw the movie “A Bug’s Life”? You were smiling during the whole thing . . . And you were in seventh heaven for the rest of the night. Didn’t you enjoy it?

Beth: I thought it was cute, but I then I moved on! You’re still obsessed with cartoons.

Al: Well, what else?

Beth: You’ve really let yourself go, too! We used to go biking and play tennis, and now you just sit around eating cereal, watching your cartoons!

Al: So, I don’t turn you on anymore? Isn’t it a bit shallow to break up with someone just over looks?

Beth: But that’s not all. You never want to go out and do anything.We stay here all the time, and your apartment is a pigsty. You never do the dishes or the laundry. There are empty pizza boxes from two weeks ago on your kitchen table. It really drives me up the wall!

Al: Mmmm . . . But we’ve been going out for two years now, and I’ve never exactly been tidy . . . Why didn’t you bring this up sooner?

Beth: I thought it was cute at first . . . I thought I would get used to it. Later, I thought you would grow out of it. Anyway . . . that’s not the point. I just don’t want to see you anymore.
(Silence)

Beth: So . . . you said you had something you wanted to tell me? I suppose how you hate that I try to control your life and change you . . .

Al: No—actually, I wanted to ask you if you knew where I left the remote control for the TV—I haven’t been able to find it for weeks.

Beth: It figures.