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IELTS Academic 17 (Test 1)

Writing

TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Norbiton industrial area now

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.

The two maps illustrates the norbiton area in the present days, as well as, the planned development.

Overall, the norbiton industrial area is located at the east side of the town, with a river on the north, separating the farmland from the industrial area, which is located in the center of the map, represented by a few factory biuldings and roads, followed by the main road at the extreme south of the map.

The planned development shows a substantially growth and modifications of the overallinfrastructure of the area between the farmland and the main road.

Firstly, the planned development of the norbiton area replaces what once were factoriesfor housings.

Moreover, the roads have been developed to acomodate all the new biuldings that have been planned for the area, which are, a school and a playground to the east side of the round about located in the center of the map, as well as shops and a medical center around the round about.

Secondly, a bridge is planned for the north of the map to cross the river and provide acess to the housing that will be located in farmland.

Here is the examiner's comment:

This response covers the key changes to be made to the industrial area, althoughmore detail could be provided, for example, housing to the west of the roundabout.There is an overview in the second paragraph and the response could be improvedby adding a summary of the main changes.

Ideas are arranged coherently, with some effective use of cohesive devices [whatonce were], sequencing adverbs [Firstly | Secondly] and referencing [which | that].There is some less common vocabulary but spelling is often inaccurate [acomodate/ accommodate | biuldings / buildings] and word formation is incorrect [substantially growth / substantial growth].

To achieve a higher score, the candidate would need to reduce the number oferrors in vocabulary and sentence structure.

TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score.

It is said that taking risks brings a lot of benefits. However, it also gives us some drawbacks.

First of all, it is obvious that taking risks will cause a great loss if people do it and fail. In personal life, this loss might not be so harmful. However, it will be really harmfull in professional life, because people take a responsibility not only for themselves but also others such as colleages, customers and their families. It will even damage the society from the economic point.

On the other hand, we can receive huge benefits by taking risks. Firstly, we can learn how to prepare for one goal through this process. In order to achieve the aim, people will make all the efforts to think about it and try to find more efficient way. If they do this in the professional circumstances, they will recognise the responsibility and importance of cooperation.

Also, it will be completely meaningful even though people can't achieve the goal after taking risks. They will learn the reason why they have failed and how to change it. The failure will enable them to improve their skills and to achieve their object next time.

As I mentioned, it is true that taking risks give us both advantages and disadvantages. However, it can be argued that the benefits outweighed the drawbacks in that we can obtain advantages not only from the result but also from the process of taking risks.

Here is the examiner's comment:

This response discusses the advantages and the disadvantages of taking risks.It puts much greater emphasis on risks in 'professional life'. As this response isbelow 250 words (it is only 242), more could be added to include risks in 'personal life' along with some specific examples of risks that people commonly take. Thereis a clear progression through the response and ideas are logically organised;disadvantages are presented first and advantages second. Cohesive devices canbe quite mechanical with examples at the start of most sentences [First of all |However | On the other hand | Firstly] but referencing is generally appropriate [it | this loss | They | The failure]. The first paragraph is very short and paragraphing isnot entirely logical.

Vocabulary is effective with some less common items [damage the society | receive huge benefits | enable | obtain advantages ... from the process]. Occasional errors remain [object / objective | point / perspective]. Sentence structure is good, with frequent error-free sentences. There is a variety of complex structures, including conditionals [if], but a few errors remain.

To improve this response, the word count of 250 should be reached and concrete example(s) of risk could be provided.

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